fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
