we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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