No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
