He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize