U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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