I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
