i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
