eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize