It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize