Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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