I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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