I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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