i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
