Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
