3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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