I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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