Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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