My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
