I want to have your abortion
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize