hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
