I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
