He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
