well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
