I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
