So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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