How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
