but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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