Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
