he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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