Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Less talking, more tequila
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
