i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
