went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
