I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize