Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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