Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
