just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
