My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
