Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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