two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
ok first of all what the fuck
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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