last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
