I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
