Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
