I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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