I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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