Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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