If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
