What a fucking waste of an outfit
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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