honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
