Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
