My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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