and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
