i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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