saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
