Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
