My friends, they love my intelligence
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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