Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
