At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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