No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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