we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
