Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
