She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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