Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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