I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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