Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
