Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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