You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I touched a dick in church today
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
