Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
