i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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